I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
