I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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