I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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