everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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