he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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