All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
