I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
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yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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