1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
