It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
