well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
