omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
