Sponge bath it is.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
