The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
