We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
