Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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