The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
