The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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