U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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