My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
