after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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