Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
