I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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