stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We need to get me chipped asap
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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