I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The air was thick with penises
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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