I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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