'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Four minutes until I can fart!
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
