So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
