In the future we'll all be gay
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
