found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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