Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
