We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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