Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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