i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
