Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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