I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
