I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize