Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
