I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
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We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
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He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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