you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
