yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
nutella sex= disaster
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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