The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
