are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
