Is it because I queefed?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize