So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
