we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
