Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
