whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
