whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
