OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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