franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
