How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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