You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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