You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You left your phone here
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