Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
