So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just forgot I was standing up.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
