i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
