made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
