do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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