dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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