You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
