Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
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No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
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I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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