I accidentally had phone sex last night
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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