guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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