the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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